Assertive Communication - 6 Tips For Effective Use

What IS assertive communication?

Assertive communication is the ability to express positive and negative ideas and feelings in an open, honest and direct way. It recognises our rights whilst still respecting the rights of others. It allows us to take responsibility for ourselves and our actions without judging or blaming other people. And it allows us to constructively confront and find a mutually satisfying solution where conflict exists.

So why use assertive communication?

All of us use assertive behaviour at times... quite often when we feel vulnerable or unsure of ourselves we may resort to submissive, manipulative or aggressive behaviour.

Yet being trained in assertive communication actually increases the appropriate use of this sort of behaviour. It enables us to swap old behaviour patterns for a more positive approach to life. I've found that changing my response to others (be they work colleagues, clients or even my own family) can be exciting and stimulating.

The advantages of assertive communication

There are many advantages of assertive communication, most notably these:

• It helps us feel good about ourselves and others

• It leads to the development of mutual respect with others

• It increases our self-esteem

• It helps us achieve our goals

• It minimises hurting and alienating other people

• It reduces anxiety

• It protects us from being taken advantage of by others

• It enables us to make decisions and free choices in life

• It enables us to express, both verbally and non-verbally, a wide range of feelings and thoughts, both positive and negative

There are, of course, disadvantages...

Disadvantages of assertive communication

Others may not approve of this style of communication, or may not approve of the views you express. Also, having a healthy regard for another person's rights means that you won't always get what YOU want. You may also find out that you were wrong about a viewpoint that you held. But most importantly, as mentioned earlier, it involves the risk that others may not understand and therefore not accept this style of communication.

What assertive communication is not...

Assertive communication is definately NOT a lifestyle! It's NOT a guarantee that you will get what you want. It's definately NOT an acceptable style of communication with everyone, but at least it's NOT being aggressive.

But it IS about choice

Four behavioural choices

There are, as I see it, four choices you can make about which style of communication you can employ. These types are:

direct aggression: bossy, arrogant, bulldozing, intolerant, opinionated, and overbearing

indirect aggression: sarcastic, deceiving, ambiguous, insinuating, manipulative, and guilt-inducing

submissive: wailing, moaning, helpless, passive, indecisive, and apologetic

assertive: direct, honest, accepting, responsible, and spontaneous

Characteristics of assertive communication

There are six main characteristics of assertive communication. These are:

• eye contact: demonstrates interest, shows sincerity

• body posture: congruent body language will improve the significance of the message

• gestures: appropriate gestures help to add emphasis

• voice: a level, well modulated tone is more convincing and acceptable, and is not intimidating

• timing: use your judgement to maximise receptivity and impact

• content: how, where and when you choose to comment is probably more important than WHAT you say

The importance of "I" statements

Part of being assertive involves the ability to appropriately express your needs and feelings. You can accomplish this by using "I" statements. These indicate ownership, do not attribute blame, focuses on behaviour, identifies the effect of behaviour, is direcdt and honest, and contributes to the growth of your relationship with each other.

Strong "I" statements have three specific elements:

• Behaviour

• Feeling

• Tangible effect (consequence to you)

Example: "I feel frustrated when you are late for meetings. I don't like having to repeat information."

Six techniques for assertive communication

There are six assertive techniques - let's look at each of them in turn.

1. Behaviour Rehearsal: which is literally practising how you want to look and sound. It is a very useful technique when you first want to use "I" statements, as it helps dissipate any emotion associated with an experience and allows you to accurately identify the behaviour you wish to confront.

2. Repeated Assertion (the 'broken record'): this technique allows you to feel comfortable by ignoring manipulative verbal side traps, argumentative baiting and irrelevant logic while sticking to your point. To most effectively use this technique use calm repetition, and say what you want and stay focused on the issue. You'll find that there is no need to rehearse this technique, and no need to 'hype yourself up' to deal with others.

Example:

"I would like to show you some of our products"
"No thank you, I'm not interested"
"I really have a great range to offer you"
"That may be true, but I'm not interested at the moment"
"Is there someone else here who would be interested?"
"I don't want any of these products"
"Okay, would you take this brochure and think about it?"
"Yes, I will take a brochure"
"Thank you"
"You're welcome"

3. Fogging: this technique allows you to receive criticism comfortably, without getting anxious or defensive, and without rewarding manipulative criticism. To do this you need to acknowledge the criticism, agree that there may be some truth to what they say, but remain the judge of your choice of action. An example of this could be, "I agree that there are probably times when I don't give you answers to your questions.

4. Negative enquiry: this technique seeks out criticism about yourself in close relationships by prompting the expression of honest, negative feelings to improve communication. To use if effectively you need to listen for critical comments, clarify your understanding of those criticisms, use the information if it will be helpful or ignore the information if it is manipulative. An example of this technique would be, "So you think/believe that I am not interested?"

5. Negative assertion: this technique lets you look more comfortably at negatives in your own behaviour or personality without feeling defensive or anxious, this also reduces your critics' hostility. You should accept your errors or faults, but not apologise. Instead, tentatively and sympathetically agree with hostile criticism of your negative qualities. An example would be, "Yes, you're right. I don't always listen closely to what you have to say."

6. Workable compromise: when you feel that your self-respect is not in question, consider a workable compromise with the other person. You can always bargain for your material goals unless the compromise affects your personal feelings of self-respect. However, if the end goal involves a matter of your self-worth and self-respect, THERE CAN BE NO COMPROMISE. An example of this technique would be, "I understand that you have a need to talk and I need to finish what I'm doing. So what about meeting in half an hour?"

Conclusion

Assertiveness is a useful communication tool. It's application is contextual and it's not appropriate to be assertive in all situations. Remember, your sudden use of assertiveness may be perceived as an act of aggression by others.

There's also no guarantee of success, even when you use assertive communication styles appropriately.

"Nothing on earth can stop the individual with the right mental attitude from achieving their goal; nothing on earth can help the individual with the wrong mental attitude" W.W. Ziege

Diversity in the Workplace: Benefits, Challenges and Solutions

Workplace diversity refers to the variety of differences between people in an organization. That sounds simple, but diversity encompasses race, gender, ethnic group, age, personality, cognitive style, tenure, organizational function, education, background and more.

Diversity not only involves how people perceive themselves, but how they perceive others. Those perceptions affect their interactions. For a wide assortment of employees to function effectively as an organization, human resource professionals need to deal effectively with issues such as communication, adaptability and change. Diversity will increase significantly in the coming years. Successful organizations recognize the need for immediate action and are ready and willing to spend resources on managing diversity in the workplace now.

Benefits of Workplace Diversity

An organization’s success and competitiveness depends upon its ability to embrace diversity and realize the benefits. When organizations actively assess their handling of workplace diversity issues, develop and implement diversity plans, multiple benefits are reported such as:

Increased adaptability
Organizations employing a diverse workforce can supply a greater variety of solutions to problems in service, sourcing, and allocation of resources. Employees from diverse backgrounds bring individual talents and experiences in suggesting ideas that are flexible in adapting to fluctuating markets and customer demands.

Broader service range
A diverse collection of skills and experiences (e.g. languages, cultural understanding) allows a company to provide service to customers on a global basis.

Variety of viewpoints
A diverse workforce that feels comfortable communicating varying points of view provides a larger pool of ideas and experiences. The organization can draw from that pool to meet business strategy needs and the needs of customers more effectively.

More effective execution
Companies that encourage diversity in the workplace inspire all of their employees to perform to their highest ability. Company-wide strategies can then be executed; resulting in higher productivity, profit, and return on investment.

Challenges of Diversity in the Workplace

Taking full advantage of the benefits of diversity in the workplace is not without its challenges. Some of those challenges are:

Communication - Perceptual, cultural and language barriers need to be overcome for diversity programs to succeed. Ineffective communication of key objectives results in confusion, lack of teamwork, and low morale.

Resistance to change - There are always employees who will refuse to accept the fact that the social and cultural makeup of their workplace is changing. The “we’ve always done it this way” mentality silences new ideas and inhibits progress.

Implementation of diversity in the workplace policies - This can be the overriding challenge to all diversity advocates. Armed with the results of employee assessments and research data, they must build and implement a customized strategy to maximize the effects of diversity in the workplace for their particular organization.

Successful Management of Diversity in the Workplace - Diversity training alone is not sufficient for your organization’s diversity management plan. A strategy must be created and implemented to create a culture of diversity that permeates every department and function of the organization.

Recommended steps that have been proven successful in world-class organizations are:

Assessment of diversity in the workplace - Top companies make assessing and evaluating their diversity process an integral part of their management system. A customizable employee satisfaction survey can accomplish this assessment for your company efficiently and conveniently. It can help your management team determine which challenges and obstacles to diversity are present in your workplace and which policies need to be added or eliminated. Reassessment can then determine the success of you diversity in the workplace plan implementation.

Development of diversity in the workplace plan - Choosing a survey provider that provides comprehensive reporting is a key decision. That report will be the beginning structure of your diversity in the workplace plan. The plan must be comprehensive, attainable and measurable. An organization must decide what changes need to be made and a timeline for that change to be attained.

Implementation of diversity in the workplace plan - The personal commitment of executive and managerial teams is a must. Leaders and managers within organizations must incorporate diversity policies into every aspect of the organization’s function and purpose. Attitudes toward diversity originate at the top and filter downward. Management cooperation and participation is required to create a culture conducive to the success of your organization’s plan.

Recommended diversity in the workplace solutions include:

Ward off change resistance with inclusion. - Involve every employee possible in formulating and executing diversity initiatives in your workplace.

Foster an attitude of openness in your organization. - Encourage employees to express their ideas and opinions and attribute a sense of equal value to all.

Promote diversity in leadership positions. - This practice provides visibility and realizes the benefits of diversity in the workplace.

Utilize diversity training. - Use it as a tool to shape your diversity policy.

Launch a customizable employee satisfaction survey that provides comprehensive reporting. - Use the results to build and implement successful diversity in the workplace policies.

As the economy becomes increasingly global, our workforce becomes increasingly diverse. Organizational success and competitiveness will depend on the ability to manage diversity in the workplace effectively. Evaluate your organization’s diversity policies and plan for the future, starting today.

Cross Cultural Solutions for International Business

Globalisation, the expansion of intercontinental trade, technological advances and the increase in the number of companies dealing on the international stage have brought about a dramatic change in the frequency, context and means by which people from different cultural backgrounds interact.

Cross cultural solutions to international business demands are increasingly being viewed as a valid and necessary method in enhancing communication and interaction in and between companies, between companies and customers and between colleagues.

Cross cultural consultancies are involved in aiding companies to find solutions to the challenges cross cultural differences carry.

International and national businesses are ultimately the result of people. As with incompatible software, if people are running on different cultural coding, problems can occur. Cross cultural consultancies therefore concentrate their efforts on interpersonal communication.

Different cultures and cultural backgrounds between a highly diverse staff base brings with it obstacles, challenges and difficulties. Cross cultural differences manifest in general areas such as in behaviour, etiquette, norms, values, expressions, group mechanics and non-verbal communication. These cross cultural differences then follow on through to high level areas such as management styles, corporate culture, marketing, HR and PR.

In order to overcome potential pitfalls, specialist attention is required in the form of a cross cultural consultant. As one would approach a doctor for a medical diagnosis or an accountant to examine finances, cross cultural consultants offer the expertise, experience and know-how to diagnose problems and provide solutions to interpersonal cultural differences.

Within companies there are many facets in which cultural differences manifest. Some key areas which cross cultural consultants deal with include, but are not exclusive to, the following:

Cross Cultural HR: HR covers a wide range of business critical areas that need cross cultural analysis. Consultants may offer advice on a number of areas including recruitment, relocation, international assignments, staff retention and training programmes.

Cross Cultural Team-Building: in order to have a well functioning business unit within a company, communication is critical. Cross cultural consultants will provide tools and methods to promote staff integration, reduce cross cultural conflicts and build team spirit. This is essentially done through highlighting differences and building on strengths to ensure they are used positively.

Cross Cultural Synergy: international mergers, acquisitions and joint-ventures require people from different cultural backgrounds to harmonise in order to succeed. Cross cultural consultants counsel on group mechanics, communication styles, norms, values and integration processes.

Cross Cultural Awareness Training: working with colleagues, customers or clients from different cultural backgrounds, with different religions, values and etiquettes can occasionally lead to problems. Cross cultural awareness training is usually a generic introduction into a culture, country, region or religion. The aim is to equip the trainee with the adequate knowledge to deal comfortably with people from different cultures, avoiding misunderstandings and mistakes.

Cross Cultural Training for Expatriate Relocation: staff that travel overseas need to understand the cultural basics of the host country or region. Knowledge of the country’s history, culture, laws, traditions, business practices and social etiquettes all help to minimise the impact of culture shock and hence smooth their transition overseas.

Cross Cultural Negotiations: equipped with their knowledge of the two or more cultures that can be meeting around the negotiation table, a cross cultural consultant advises on areas such as negotiation strategies, styles, planning, closure and etiquette in order to increase the chance of a successful outcome, free from misunderstandings, suspicions and general cross cultural communication breakdown.

Cross Cultural PR Consultancy: brand image, public relations and advertising are all areas companies must be careful of when moving out of the national context. Tastes and values change dramatically from continent to continent. It is crucial to understand whether the brand name, image or advertising campaign is culturally applicable in the target country. Cross cultural consultants examine words, images, pictures, colours and symbols to ensure they fit well with the target culture.

Cross Cultural Language Training: Language training is an area where little investment is made by companies, but where the business advantages are great. Linguistic knowledge goes a long way in bridging cultural gaps and smoothing lines of communication. Cross cultural consultancies provide language training to business staff, moulding their learning to the business environment in which they work.

In conclusion, clearly the role and expertise of cross cultural communication consultants is important for today’s international business. The potential pitfalls cross cultural differences present to companies are extensive. In essence a cross cultural consultant’s primary objective is integration. This integration, between colleagues, clients and customers is crucial for business success. Equipped with experience, knowledge and above all objectivity, a cross cultural consultant creates bridges of understanding and opens lines of communication.

How to Create a Positive Work Atmosphere

Positive versus Negative Workplaces

We have all worked in places where we grew to dread getting up in the morning, and a few of us have had the pleasure of working for a boss who makes us feel like we can do anything. Let’s take a look at the differences between a positive and a negative work environment.

Signs of a Negative Work Environment

• The boss is unfriendly.

• The boss is critical.

• There is high employee turnover.

• There is low employee morale.

• People watch the clock.

• People don’t get much performance feedback.

Signs of a Positive Work Environment

• The boss demonstrates interest in the employees.

• The boss has an encouraging attitude.

• Employees like working there.

• There is evidence of company pride and loyalty.

• People know where they stand with their supervisors.

Thousands of books have been written on the subject of managing and motivating people, and as many training seminars are conducted on this subject around the world every day. And yet it’s interesting that even with all of this available information, few companies succeed at creating a positive work environment. Let’s see what’s involved.

Four Key Skills

Creating a positive work environment is based on four key skills. They are:

1. Tell people what you expect of them.

2. Show interest in your team members.

3. Create an encouraging environment.

4. Recognize and reward good performance.

Skill #1: State Your Expectations

Telling people what you expect of them means doing the following:

• Communicating expectations clearly

• Having a specific job description

• Identifying specific performance standards

• Specifying deadlines

• Setting goals

Skill #2: Show Interest in Your Team

What behaviors convey that someone is interested in you?

• Making eye contact

• Calling you by name

• Asking your opinion

• Smiling

• Complimenting your work

• Taking your suggestions

These behaviors convey a lack of interest:

• Ignoring you

• Not knowing your name or not using it

• Not asking your opinion

• Ignoring your suggestions

• Not commenting on your work

• Following your suggestion, but only when heard from someone else

Such signs discourage productivity because they make people feel discouraged, angry, less confident, and stripped of self-esteem.

Skill #3: Create an Encouraging Environment

Most people would agree that an encouraging work environment is one where:

• Your ideas are valued.

• Creativity is encouraged.

• Risks are encouraged.

• Fun and laughter are valued.

• New ideas are rewarded.

• You feel appreciated.

• People thank you for your contributions.

• Flexibility is valued.

• You feel like part of the team.

Creating such an environment results in the following benefits to employees. You:

• Contribute more ideas.

• Feel more committed.

• Look forward to coming to work.

• Are more productive.

• Have increased self-esteem.

Creating such an environment results in the following benefits to managers and business owners:

• Less turnover

• Less sabotage

• Greater loyalty

• Easier to find employees due to good reputation

• Higher productivity

Skill #4: Recognize and Reward Good Performance

A reinforcer is anything that happens, after a behavior, that tends to increase the chances that the behavior will be repeated. Included are such things as:

• Compliments

• Smiles

• Thumbs-up gesture

• Saying “Thank you”

• Public announcement of your achievement

• Positive letter in your personnel file

• Promotion

• Time off

• Special parking space

• First choice on schedule

• Dinner with the boss

• Tickets to an event

• Extra employee discount

• Picture on the bulletin board

• Applause at a meeting

Recognition Guidelines

1. Describe the results you are recognizing. Be specific. It’s important to make certain the employee knows what behavior or accomplishment you are referring to.

2. State your personal appreciation. Say, “I appreciate it.” Adding your personal appreciation makes the compliment feel more genuine.

3. Encourage the person to continue producing such good work. This increases the chances that the person will repeat the desirable behavior.

Einstein - Definition of Insanity

Insanity in the Sign & Graphics Industry

Einstein’s Definition

Albert Einstein once said “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results”. Think about this quote for a second and ask yourself, does this quote apply to the way you run your company?

Have you been doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results? If so, then you might want to keep on reading. In a world where technology is becoming a key productivity tool to the success of any business, it simply comes down to, are you accepting and harnessing technology or rejecting it. Are you willing to change or will you do the same thing over and over again? T

Here are two main reasons why I pose this question. First, many shop owners today have trouble understanding how new technology, specifically software, can become a major benefit to their business, and second, owners have trouble measuring the profits they are losing by rejecting this technological change. Have you ever rejected technology?

“If It Ain’t Broke Then Don’t Fix It!” Mentality

Are you expecting to increase profits by continuing the same business strategy year after year? If so, how long do you think the method will work?

Many shop owners simply do not see the need to update or change their current method. They believe that there is no need to invest in a new method when the old one still seems to work fine. This is the common, “If it ain’t broke then don’t fix it!” mentality. Well, I hate to be the one to say it, but just because something isn’t “broke” doesn’t mean you can’t make it work better. When new technology such as software, could save you large amounts of time & money, how can you not accept it?

In an industry where there is an increasing level of competitiveness, shop owners must take advantage of every method available to help them cut costs. Would a commercial printer looking to grow their business, limit their shop to just a one color press? Sure they can continue to operate with a one color press, but wouldn’t a two or four color press help expand their business into other areas more effectively. In this example the current method works, but a technological change would help increase the company’s ability to grow.

Exploring these other areas help companies to sustain and increase profits. Without accepting new technology, shop owners greatly limit their profit potential. By using the power of technology to make their business practices more efficient owners can continue to achieve their goals.

Are You Sacrificing?

A lot of shop owners that we talk with have a hard time visualizing the amount of money they are losing, or in actuality, the amount of money they are giving to their competition, due to inconsistencies in the work flow process. These shops feel they are doing well with the system they currently have in place and do not see the need to change to a new method. This lack of vision can cause owners to limit their future profits.

On the opposite side, the owners that do see a need for change begin to focus more attention on how much money it will cost to make the switch rather than how much they are losing. These owners become unsure and wonder if the investment today will pay off tomorrow. To those owners, how much will it cost you not to switch? Do you even know? Is it one, three, possibly five jobs a day? Do the math. How much money/time is lost due to inefficiencies such as faulty estimates, under/over-priced jobs, or lost invoices.

Ask yourself, how long can a company continue to compete if they are not being as efficient as their competition? If companies choose to stay with the same system they have been using for years and reject change are they, in essence, choosing to sacrifice future profits?

$100,000 a Year

One company in particular that we spoke with was losing 4 orders per week to their competition. Since only one person in the shop was able to estimate, it was taking days to get quotes to customers, therefore forcing their clients to seek, and eventually accept bids from competing companies. When this company finally analyzed their method and applied a dollar amount to the loss, they estimated they were losing around $100,000 in revenue a year. Amazing right? What would 4 orders a week cost you? Or if you could accept 4 more orders a week, what would you do with the extra profits? How does a company like this one miss out on a $100,000 opportunity? Simply put, insanity, the Einstein definition.

It’s not Just Estimating

Companies are not just losing profits due to faulty estimates; they’re also losing profits due to a lack of follow up, or customer management. When sending estimates out to potential clients, how often do companies remember to follow up with them? With the constant chaos that shop owners experience on a daily basis, this follow up process can become an aspect that is quickly forgotten, especially if the current estimating system doesn’t include this integration.

How much can a company increase their “win” rate for estimates by placing follow up calls to all customers with estimates outstanding? By using a powerful integrated estimating and business management software, like Cyrious, company’s are able to create reminders that will tell employees who to call, when to call, and why, automatically. It keeps all customer, contact, and order information together in one place and increases the ability to save time and builds customer relationships essential to business growth and expansion.

Adapting to Change

By adapting to change, and accepting and harnessing technology, shop owners who use Cyrious Software have become more efficient and profitable.

Cyrious helps owners solve a variety of different frustrations. Whether you’re an owner who is frustrated with estimating because it takes up too much time or one that is annoyed that orders keep getting lost and misplaced, Cyrious has a solution. Cyrious helps put an end to the lack of integration by providing the power of multiple software systems in one (estimating, accounting, job tracking, customer management, etc.). No company is happy about losing customers due to late quotes or losing money because parts are omitted from estimates and orders.

When owners understand the amount of time and money a different method can save them, the switch to powerful software like Cyrious is simple. Is it time for you to explore different methods to increase sales & profits, and make your business more manageable?

Results of Poor Cross Cultural Awareness

Results of Poor Cross Cultural Awareness. Having a poor understanding of the influence of cross cultural differences in areas such as management, PR, advertising and negotiations can eventually lead to blunders that can have damaging consequences.

It is crucial for today’s business personnel to understand the impact of cross cultural differences on business, trade and internal company organisation. The success or failure of a company, venture, merger or acquisition is essentially in the hands of people. If these people are not cross culturally aware then misunderstandings, offence and a break down in communication can occur.

The need for greater cross cultural awareness is heightened in our global economies. Cross cultural differences in matters such as language, etiquette, non-verbal communication, norms and values can, do and will lead to cross cultural blunders.

To illustrate this we have provided a few examples of cross cultural blunders that could have been avoided with appropriate cross cultural awareness training:

An American oil rig supervisor in Indonesia shouted at an employee to take a boat to shore. Since it is no-one berates an Indonesian in public, a mob of outraged workers chased the supervisor with axes.

Pepsodent tried to sell its toothpaste in Southeast Asia by emphasizing that it "whitens your teeth." They found out that the local natives chew betel nuts to blacken their teeth which they find attractive.

A company advertised eyeglasses in Thailand by featuring a variety of cute animals wearing glasses. The ad was a poor choice since animals are considered to be a form of low life and no self respecting Thai would wear anything worn by animals.

The soft drink Fresca was being promoted by a saleswoman in Mexico. She was surprised that her sales pitch was greeted with laughter, and later embarrassed when she learned that fresca is slang for "lesbian."

When President George Bush went to Japan with Lee Iacocca and other American business magnates, and directly made explicit and direct demands on Japanese leaders, they violated Japanese etiquette. To the Japanese (who use high context language) it is considered rude and a sign of ignorance or desperation to lower oneself to make direct demands. Some analysts believe it severely damaged the negotiations and confirmed to the Japanese that Americans are barbarians.

A soft drink was introduced into Arab countries with an attractive label that had stars on it--six-pointed stars. The Arabs interpreted this as pro-Israeli and refused to buy it. Another label was printed in ten languages, one of which was Hebrew--again the Arabs did not buy it.

U.S. and British negotiators found themselves at a standstill when the American company proposed that they "table" particular key points. In the U.S. "Tabling a motion" means to not discuss it, while the same phrase in Great Britain means to "bring it to the table for discussion."

In addition to interpersonal cross cultural gaffes, the translation of documents, brochures, advertisements and signs also offers us some comical cross cultural blunders:

Kellogg had to rename its Bran Buds cereal in Sweden when it discovered that the name roughly translated to "burned farmer."

When Pepsico advertised Pepsi in Taiwan with the ad "Come Alive With Pepsi" they had no idea that it would be translated into Chinese as "Pepsi brings your ancestors back from the dead."

American medical containers were distributed in Great Britain and caused quite a stir. The instructions to "Take off top and push in bottom," innocuous to Americans, had very strong sexual connotations to the British.

In Italy, a campaign for Schweppes Tonic Water translated the name into "Schweppes Toilet Water."

In a Belgrade hotel elevator: To move the cabin, push the button for wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a number of wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by national order.

In a Yugoslavian hotel: The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid.

In a Bangkok dry cleaner's: Drop your trousers here for best results.

In an East African newspaper: A new swimming pool is rapidly taking shape since the contractors have thrown in the bulk of their workers.

Detour sign in Kyushi, Japan: Stop--Drive sideways.

At a Budapest zoo: Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty.

In conclusion, poor cross cultural awareness has many consequences, some serious others comical. It is imperative that in the global economy cross cultural awareness is seen a necessary investment to avoid such blunders as we have seen above.

Managing Workplace Conflicts

Kinds of Workplace Conflicts

Let’s start by identifying where conflicts happen. Think about the kinds of conflicts that happen around your workplace.

• Disagreements over turf (who should do what)

• Disagreements over policy (how things should be done)

• Conflicts of personality and style

Common Ways of Dealing with Conflict

These are some of the ways we typically deal with conflict. Do you see yourself in any of them?

• Avoid the conflict.

• Deny the conflict; wait until it goes away.

• Change the subject.

• React emotionally; become aggressive, abusive, hysterical, or frightening.

• Find someone to blame.

• Make excuses.

• Delegate the situation to someone else.

All of these responses are nonproductive. Some of them are actually destructive. This is why learning to manage conflict is so important.

Effect on Work Relationships

The workplace is a system of relationships. Relationships have many different aspects; here are several examples:

Trust

Teamwork

Quality

Morale

Self-esteem

Loyalty

Respect for boss

When conflicts are handled well, there’s a positive effect on work relationships. When they are not, these factors can deteriorate. Productivity and the free expression of ideas are also impacted.

Factors That Affect How People Manage Conflict

The skills involved in managing conflict are learned behaviors. None of us is born knowing how to deal with differences of opinion, arguments, or turf wars. Some of the factors that affect how we behave in the face of conflict are:

1. Status: People in higher-status positions usually feel freer to engage in conflict and are less likely to avoid confrontation.

2. Company style or unwritten rules: Some companies encourage conflict; others have unwritten rules that it is to be contained or avoided.

3. Gender differences: Males are generally encouraged to be more confrontational than females.

4. Behavior learned in families: In some families, conflict and confrontation are a communication style. In others, conflict always remains hidden.

5. Behavior learned from role models: People who have had a teacher or boss who modeled effective conflict-resolution skills are more likely to develop these skills themselves.

Conflict Resolution Skills

No one is born knowing how to resolve conflicts. Conflict resolution is a set of skills that anyone can learn. Let’s look at two important ones: active listening and conflict deescalation skills.

Active Listening

Active listening is a valuable skill for resolving conflicts because it enables you to demonstrate that you understand what another person is saying and how he or she is feeling about it.

Active listening means restating, in your own words, what the other person has said.

Active listening is a way of checking whether your understanding is correct. It also demonstrates that you are listening and that you are interested and concerned. These all help resolve a situation when there are conflicting points of view.

Active listening responses have two components: (1) naming the feeling that the other person is conveying, and (2) stating the reason for the feeling.

Here are some examples of active-listening statements:

“Sounds like you’re upset about what happened at work.”

“You’re annoyed by my lateness, aren’t you?”

“You sound really stumped about how to solve this problem.”

“It makes you angry when you find errors on Joe’s paperwork.”

“Sounds like you’re really worried about Wendy.”

“I get the feeling you’re awfully busy right now.”

Actively listening is not the same as agreement. It is a way of demonstrating that you intend to hear and understand another’s point of view.

Benefits of Active Listening

If a person uses active listening as part of his or her communication style at work, how would that be good for resolving conflicts, i.e., what are the benefits?

1. It feels good when another person makes an effort to understand what you are thinking and feeling. It creates good feelings about the other person and makes you feel better about yourself.

2. Restating what you’ve heard, and checking for understanding, promotes better communication and produces fewer misunderstandings.

3. Responding with active listening has a calming effect in an emotional situation.

Conflict Deescalation

Everyone has been in an argument that has escalated. Before you know it, it’s blown out of proportion. Let’s think for a moment about some actions that will help you deescalate a conflict. In your experience, what actions put a stop to the defend/attack spiral?

• Stick with “I” statements; avoid “you” statements.

• Avoid name-calling and put-downs (“A reasonable person could see that...”).

• Soften your tone.

• Take a time-out (“Let’s take a break and cool down”).

• Acknowledge the other person’s point of view (agreement is not necessary).

• Avoid defensive or hostile body language (rolling eyes, crossing arms in front of body, tapping foot).

• Be specific and factual; avoid generalities.

Conflict Prevention Skills

Now that we’ve talked about how to resolve a conflict, let’s look at how to prevent conflicts from happening. Here are a few ideas:

• Bring issues out in the open before they become problems.

• Be aware of triggers and respond to them when you notice them. • Have a process for resolving conflicts. Bring it up at a meeting and get agreement on what people should do in cases of differing viewpoints.

• Teach everyone conflict-resolution skills and expect people to use them.

Micromanagement and Delegation

Recently I had a long discussion with a friend of mine about Managers and managing. She is a former HR Manager for several major companies and was bemoaning the fact that training for managers has been cut back so significantly in recent years and that managers no longer receive the type of help, guidance and assistance that they received just a few short years ago. My background has been in retail and telecom. Hers was neither. Yet the same problems and issues seem to rise in every industry. Of course, this is exactly the reason that I got into coaching. Coaching allows those managers who want to improve a very personalized venue to do just that.

We went on to agree that the common pattern these days seemed to be for the department star performer to be promoted from contributor, to team leader, to manager in seemingly record time. We agreed that new managers have difficulty moving from the contributor to the manager role because no one is willing to spend the time and energy to coach them through the various hurdles that new managers and leaders face. We agreed that this lack of training never seemed to lower the expectations of the manager, just the performance.

Then we disagreed, strongly. What caused the disagreement? The

concept was micro-management. My friend explained to me that she has "coached" many employees recently and that many of them complained about one particular manager who was micro-managing them. She told me that she helps the employees understand and come to grips with "their problem". "You're not going to be able to change that manager, she explained to me, "so you've got to change the employees". She explains to them that if they are being micro-managed, there's probably a reason for it. They are probably doing something wrong. If they just identify that problem and improve, their manager will stop the micro-management. "The employees need to improve themselves. It's as simple as that."

I wish my life was as simple as that.

She acknowledges that with that many employees complaining that

it's likely the manager is the problem. But changing the manager is too much trouble, she says, so let's tell the employees it's their fault.

While it is true that it is sometimes necessary to micro-manage

people, her explanation makes little sense to me. You might micro-manage an employee if their performance is lacking. Or because the project they are working on is very high visibility and any chance of error must be minimized. But when a number of employees are complaining about the same manager micro-managing them it implies one of two things.

Either this manager:

1. Has a lot of problem employees and needs to start weeding them out, or

2. This manager does not know how to let go and properly

delegate to their staff.

Excessive micro-management is not the sign of a healthy manager.

When someone is constantly micro-managing their staff it's generally their problem, not the employees.

If you are micro-managing your staff, refusing to delegate routine, and not so routine tasks to them for completion, then you are setting yourself up for trouble. Have you ever heard yourself say, "I would delegate this to someone else, but it's just as easy to do it myself"? Or maybe you say, "This task is too complicated to delegate. I have to make sure it's done right."

If so, I hope you like your job. Because you aren't going anyplace higher. Delegation can be difficult to learn because it looks like a huge risk and a huge leap of faith. But it doesn't have to be that way. There are techniques that you can learn that will help you delegate and get you out of the detail. And you have to get out of the detail if you really want to be an executive.

Increasing Employee Retention Through Employee Engagement

You’ve seen it happen many times. An organization that provides top wages and benefits loses a great employee to a competitor for no apparent reason. Of course, some employee turnover is to be expected, but if your company is truly engaging your employees, there is no good reason for the unexpected loss of quality staff members. Many companies already know that wages and benefits are important to employees, but compensation alone is not enough to keep the highly skilled, motivated and experienced workforce your business needs to excel.

Defining Employee Engagement

What is employee engagement exactly? AlphaMeasure defines employee engagement as the level of commitment and involvement an employee has towards their organization and its values.

The primary behaviors of engaged employees are speaking positively about the organization to coworkers, potential employees and customers, having a strong desire to be a member of the organization, and exerting extra effort to contribute to the organization’s success. Many smart organizations work to develop and nurture engagement. It is important to note, the employee engagement process does require a two-way relationship between employer and employee.

Why is Employment Engagement so important?

An organization’s capacity to manage employee engagement is closely related to its ability to achieve high performance levels and superior business results.

Engaged employees will stay with the company, be an advocate of the company and its products and services, and contribute to bottom line business success. Engaged employees also normally perform better and are more motivated. There is a significant link between employee engagement and profitability. Employee engagement is critical to any organization that seeks not only to retain valued employees, but also increase its level of performance.

Factors of Engagement

Many organizational factors influence employee engagement and retention such as:

• A culture of respect where outstanding work is valued
• Availability of constructive feedback and mentoring
• Opportunity for advancement and professional development
• Fair and appropriate reward, recognition and incentive systems
• Availability of effective leadership
• Clear job expectations
• Adequate tools to complete work responsibilities
• High levels of motivation

Many other factors exist that might apply to your particular business and the importance of these factors will also vary within your organization.

Engagement Essentials

How will you know to what degree your employees are engaged? The first step is to determine the current level of employee engagement. The best tool to determine this base line is a comprehensive employee satisfaction survey. A well administered satisfaction survey will let you know at what level of engagement your employees are operating. Customizable employee surveys will provide you with a starting point towards your efforts to optimize employee engagement.

The key to successful employee satisfaction surveys is to pay close attention to the feedback from your staff. This is the only way to identify their specific concerns. When leaders listen, employees respond by becoming more engaged. This results in increased productivity and employee retention. Engaged employees are much more likely to be satisfied in their positions, remain with the company, be promoted, and strive for higher levels of performance.

Listening to employee ideas, acting on employee contributions and actively involving employees in decision making are essential to employee engagement.

Taking Action to Improve Employee Engagement

Nothing is more discouraging to employees than to be asked for their feedback and see no movement toward resolution of their issues. Even the smallest actions taken to address concerns will let your staff know that their input is valued. Feeling valued will boost morale, motivate and encourage future input.

Taking action starts with listening to employee feedback. Then the data needs to be analyzed. Next, a definitive action plan will need to be put in place and finally, change will be implemented. It is important that employee engagement is not viewed as a one time action. Employee engagement should be a continuous process of measuring, analyzing, defining and implementing.

What is the Alternative to Employee Engagement?

Conditions that prevent employee engagement seldom alleviate themselves. They should be assessed and addressed as soon as possible. Left to multiply, negative employee satisfaction issues can result in:

• Higher employee turnover - Employees leave, taking their reservoir of knowledge and experience to another workplace
• Diminished performance - Competency of the workforce is reduced, at least short term, until new employees are trained
• Lost training dollars - Time and money invested in training and development programs for departing workers is wasted
• Lower morale - Remaining employees can be overburdened with new duties, in addition the unresolved issues that already prevent their full engagement

How Can You Attain Employee Engagement?

Listen to your employees and remember that this is a continuous process. The information your employees supply will provide direction. Insist upon increased engagement at the managerial level, and create and deploy a customized employee satisfaction survey from AlphaMeasure to assess your current level of employee engagement. Identify problem areas, make a plan and take action towards improvement.

Organizational Structure, Creativity, Innovation

Organizational structure can inhibit or foster creativity and innovation. The problem with organizational structure though, is that it is resultant of many factors, including history, organic growth, strategy, operational design, product diversity, logistics, marketing, client base, supplier base and so forth. Therefore, what managers need, are not recipes for complete structural change, but insights into the properties of fostering structures that can be adapted into the existing structure.

To start, it is useful to analyse the preferred structures against the not so preferred. There are many definitions of types of organizational structure, but one example is:

a) Mechanistic structures (generally not preferred) – includes centralised control and authority, clearly defined tasks, vertical communication links, obedience to supervisors, rigidity and inflexibility.

b) Organic structures (generally preferred) – decentralisation of authority, tasks loosely defined, horizontal communications, greater individual authority, flexible, adaptable.

Experience shows that the above can be misleading. For example, flat organisations are generally preferred and hierarchical ones not preferred, however, even flat organisations are in reality hierarchical.

Importantly, if we have a mechanistic structure, what factors allow us to move in the right direction without wholesale change?

Some answers include:

a) Direct communication links to decision makers.

b) Communication and information flow between departments.

c) Tangible progression of ideas from problem to solution, product development to commercialisation.

d) Creative teams working outside but linked into the organization, whose culture, processes etc diffuse into the existing structure.

Micro-Management Has a Negative Growth Effect on Business

MICRO = too close for comfort

When you stifle the creativity of your associates through micro-management practices then your company pays in lost profits.

Nothing kills the spirit of your associates quicker than a boss or supervisor standing over every move that needs to be made each day.

Give some space. Everyone needs breathing room. Don’t spend your day trying to see who you can catch goofing off at the water cooler. Statistics indicate that all of us need a break from the "grind".

LACK OF A PLAN

Micro-management is one result of running your business without a plan. No one has a clue so at best someone has to call every move. Failure to share the vision means focus is missing.

As your "Mom" used to say, there is unrest in the "troops". The "Natives" are restless. Why? No one understands the benefit. "What’s In It For Me" is always on our mind (WIIFM).

Many firms get into trouble because no one took the time to put a business plan together. Verbal ideas "maybe" but it takes a lot of time to put a full-blown business plan on paper. It’s so easy just to run by the seat of your pants.

"Seat" management is NOT a good idea for growth. Statistics indicate that nine out of ten new businesses do not exist at the end of 5 years. Some are gone in 3 months while a few "hang" in for 2 or 3 years before going "belly" up.

What happens? Too often everyone is working IN the business rather than working ON the business plan and it’s implementation.

EXPAND YOUR HORIZONS

Success in business takes leadership. There will always be the need for someone on the" white" horse. A LEADER! This person seldom spends his/her time micro-managing anything.

Most of us have seen a committee work hard on a project that simply got bogged down for lack of consensus.

Even on a committee run project you still need a leader. A person who is respected for their leadership qualities and one who gets consensus among his/her peers.

ROOM TO BREATH

To succeed, the company management has to give "room" (time) to the project committee for it to have "discussion" periods. To develop an investigative review process. To make recommendations.

To get input and suggestions for revision/change. To finalize the details.

The Micro-manager faces a real challenge because of "turf" control. Allowing others to make decisions and give in-put into goal setting is foreign to him or her.

Insecurities rise to the surface of the micro-manager. In many situations their position can be in jeopardy. Few companies need a micro-manager today.

A Company wise enough to hire talented associates needs to be even wiser in managing and sharing the vision. Paint with a wide sweep and a far reaching brush. Give the BIG picture and let the associates work out the details.

Rather than micro-managing the business you’ll spend executive time working ON your business not IN your business. As a business owner you are the VISIONARY. Goal setter. Pace setter. Buck stops here!

10 Ways New Managers Become Great Leaders

"It is a terrible thing to look over your shoulder when you are trying to lead and find no one there." - Franklin D. Roosevelt

Persons accepting promotion from individual contributor to leader often do not realize the extent of the change. All too often they assume that they will be doing basically the work as before except that they will now be ‘in charge’. In reality, a major change in responsibility is occurring. The new leader requires a different set of skills, attitude and behaviors. When we asked seasoned leaders what they wished they knew then that they know now, this is what they said:

1. Research your new job. Find out all you can about: the company (if it is one you have not previously worked for); the department you’ll be working in; your new job responsibilities; the history of the position; your predecessor and his or her approach to the job; and your new subordinates – if you don’t already know them. Also learn the purpose of your department, team or unit – what work is being done, what is the current state of play; your boss and your boss’s boss expectations and if you have customers, what their expectations are.

2. Start planning in advance. Form at least a tentative plan - it will be harder to plan once you are in position. Think about what you want to achieve and how you would like to develop yourself to match the demands of the job. Reflect on your strengths and weaknesses – how can you deploy your positive qualities and experiences to advantage and compensate for your limitations. Above all, don’t depart too dramatically and quickly from established practice.

3. Get to know your team. Meet with your team first together and then individually. Don’t skimp on time – these first meetings set the stage for building a productive relationship. Listen carefully, eliciting information about the work and about them as individuals. Consider leaving the team with a question to reflect on: “What should I do or not do to help you perform your job effectively?”

4. Focus on important relationships. Introduce yourself to customers (internal and external); suppliers, and the people who make up the professional network surrounding your job. Get to know your boss immediately. Find out such things as: the frequency of status reports (daily vs. weekly vs. monthly); the amount of information (just give me a quick update vs. a 5 page report); and the desired mode of communication (email, voice mail, face-to-face).

5. Identify likely standards of performance. Observe, listen and note what is acceptable and what is not in your new environment. Within a few weeks you should have some ideas of what your staff expects of you. Identify the criteria by which your boss, your peers, and your customers will judge you. Be honest with yourself – can you meet those standards? If not, what do you need to do? Consider who could help you and what the price might be.

6. Power up your people engine. Make a point of noticing and showing appreciation when someone puts in extra time and effort. If you are aware that another team member wanted or expected to get your job, acknowledge the fact. Express the hope that you can work together on a friendly basis and say that you look forward to his or help.

7. Don’t be the lone ranger. Lead by involving team members. Listen to what they are telling you, especially if the team has been working together for a long time. They probably have a better sense, then you as the new manager, of what is going on, what needs to be done, and where the sand traps are.

8. Set an example. Demonstrate strong personal commitment to achieving your department’s or unit’s or team’s goals. Build warm, friendly relationships rather than remain aloof. However, there is a fine line between being friendly and being a pal. When you put on the manager’s hat, your role changes. You want respect first and then hopefully being liked.

9. Take stock regularly. Take time to reflect on your progress at the end of your first week, your first month, and your first quarter. Identify issues that require immediate attention, and ways to deal with them, before they grow into big headaches. The pattern of behavior you set in your first three months will be extremely hard to change later. As a new leader, your primary task is to listen and learn.

10. Discover the leader in you. You can't make sense of your role as a leader unless you know yourself first. Look to others for guidance but be true to who you are. "Leadership is a matter of how to be not how to do it. In the end, it is the quality and character of the leader that determines performance and results", according to Frances Hellelbein of the Peter Drucker Institute.

Make sure you become a super not blooper leader.

Organizational Techniques - Tickler and Chron File

One of the biggest problems we encounter in our consulting with businesses, and our students is time management and organizational techniques. This article will concentrate on some good organizational strategies. Two of the best organizational techniques I have found over the years are the Tickler File and the Chron File. This article will concentrate on how to use them everyday in your business.

A Tickler file is used extensively in the legal arena. A Tickler file is a file in which you put items that you need to take care of by a certain date. For example, an accordion file is used in the legal office, the accordion file has dates from 1-31 with monthly folders (January-December). If a court case is to go to trial on June 13th with depositions to take place through May, the case would be put in the accordion file in April, so that letters could be sent out in April to those who need to be deposed in May. The letter for a particular individual would be placed in the appropriate day for May that the person was to come in, or even the day before with a note to call and remind this individual they have an appointment. Anyway you get the idea. The tickler file allows you to put notes, files or letters in them as a reminder (tickle your memory) for you to do something. The tickler file is also a great way to get all the papers off your desk. When I am done at the end of the day, I place my to do list (with the items to be done), in my tickler file. My tickler file is a legal size accordion file, which is numbered 1-31. I have made up my own monthly files. Yes, you can purchase manila files with the months already on them, however, they are expensive, an expense I don't think is necessary. My tickler file is in the drawer of my desk. When I am finished at the end of the day, all of the items I am still working on are placed in my tickler file for the next day. So the tickler file can serve a two-fold purpose, clearing off your desk at the end of the day, along with acting as reminder and keeping track of what need to be done in the upcoming days and months for you.

For those of you running your own Lease Purchasing business it also allows you to tickle a reminder to yourself to run your ads on a consistent basis, utilize your marketing strategies, Real Estate meetings, speeches, and articles to write, along with the other items you need to do.

I know many of you use computer programs that act as tickler files do. This is fine, as long as you use them. I know you can set up a system like this one in Outlook and many of the Personal Management Programs. That's fine. However, I find that most people don't follow through with the computer programs, and have found when consulting with businesses that the old fashioned way makes them more comfortable, since they are handling paper and files and don't have to bring up a specific program to look for something. However, if you are more comfortable with a computer program, please feel free to employ one. Just remember, to be organized, you do have to use it.

Another issue that comes up quite often is finding a particular letter or memo in a file. One of the best ways to keep track of correspondence is by using a Chron File. A chron file is a chronological file of all the correspondence you send out on a monthly basis. You would have chron files for all twelve months with the letters sent out that month in date order. If you use client files, you can still use the chron file, just make a second copy of the letter for your chron file. It might seem extra work for you, however, I have found over time, not everyone can remember a particular clients' name, and it is much easier to remember they did a letter in a particular month, and find it that way. Chron files are very handy for those businesses that don't send out a lot of correspondence and don't want to have to make a file for one piece of correspondence. Your correspondence is organized by month and year and much easier to retrieve if you need to. I keep the current monthly chron file and the past two months in my desk drawer before my tickler file.

For those running a lease purchase business, your chron file is perfect for those follow-up letters from telephone calls to sellers, marketing letters to mortgage brokers, real estate agents, etc. You don't need to make a separate file for those type of letters, just place them in your chron file.

Eight Skills of Highly Successful Consultants

With deference to Dr. Covey and his very popular Seven Habits of Highly Effective People (all habits that will make us better consultants!), here are eight skills that all of us as consultants can work on to improve. This article will start with three overarching skills, then describe five more specific skills to consider in your ongoing development.

One way to look at your total skill set as a consultant (internal or external), is to consider your relative strengths in the three major portions of our work: designing “it”, delivering “it”, and selling “it”. These three skills represent the complete package for a consultant, regardless of what your expertise (your “it”) is.

The Complete Package:

Designing “It”
This is our technical expertise. This is the “stuff” we learn in classes and through experience and practice. It is the front end of our work in most cases. While we cannot underestimate the importance of these skills (and the need to continue to upgrade them), we also can’t be content if these skills are top-notch. They are not enough.

Delivering “It”
This is the other mega-skill that many of us are very comfortable with. Once we’ve designed our “product”, we have to be able to deliver it. This is the skill set that is often most evident to our clients, or is what we tell people we do when they ask us our profession. Again, this skill set is critical, but alone it isn’t enough.

Selling “It”
This skill, in my experience, is the one most often in need of improvement. While many books have been written about this skill set, there is one key, which by itself will improve your success in selling your work. If you will always focus on client/customer benefits, rather than product/process features, you will improve your success immediately. Features are components of your product or service. Examples include:

• Size
• Length
• Speed
• Number of modules
• Your Experience

People don’t buy features they buy benefits. All of us know this at some level, but seldom focus on turning the important features of our offerings into true benefits. To assume that your client/customer will figure out the benefit, is to lower your chance of selling your potential product or
idea.

Some Specific Skills to Consider:

Contracting
This is another skill that requires a book to discuss well and which requires planning and practice to improve. Getting clear agreements with clients up front about what the work is, what the desired outcomes are, and what your role is, is what contracting is all about.

Relationship Building
Building relationships are important in all three of the major skill areas. In designing, you need to build relationships in order to gain the organizational information you need to design effectively. In delivering you need to be able to have good relationships with those involved, to lead to a more successful outcome. In selling, it’s important to remember that selling is a relationship process. People buy other people and believe in their ability to deliver.

Having a focus on relationships is more than building rapport, which can happen quite rapidly. Building relationships is long term focused and requires considerable commitment.

Warning

Building relationships with individuals is important, but recognize that if your focus is on only one person in an organization, when they are gone (get promoted, get a new job, are downsized out, or whatever) you have lost your leverage to help the organization. So, remember to build a network of relationships within your client organizations.

Separating Process from Content
It is so important to maintain perspective while in the client organization. Clients will focus on the content (of a meeting, the product, the outputs from your study, or whatever), but if the process matters aren’t attended to, outcomes can be compromised.

Working on your ability to step back and recognize what is happening at the group dynamics and interpersonal level will improve your success. Clients don’t always know that they need this, but they will almost always recognize that you “did something” to make things go better when you can point to, and improve the process, while sharing the content of your work. This skill is often the key to additional work or referrals.

Socratic Questioning
Socrates is immortalized at least in part for his teaching approach of asking a line of questions that leads the student to discover answers for themselves.

When you clients discover answers to their problems, rather than simply hear them from you, they will own the answers. Their ability to hold onto the concepts, apply them, and improve their situation will skyrocket. Improving your ability to help them discover (through the use of Socratic questioning), is a critical, though often overlooked skill.

Using more questions will cause you to lose the feeling of power that you are providing the “right” answer. But the client gains far more than you lose. While you may feel like you are losing emotionally, you win with the client, and probably strengthen your relationship with them too.

Saying “No!”
Most of us need to improve our ability to say this. Of course we can physically say it, (OK, just for practice, say it three times right now - out loud!) but we all know we don’t always say it when we wish we had!

Improving your judgment on when to use this word will help you in three important ways, time management, happiness level, and client success.

Time Management

Many of your time management problems stem from trying to do too much. When people (clients, peers, anyone) ask you to do something that you don’t feel you are best suited for, or don’t really want to do, use your word!

Happiness Level

When we focus our energy on the things we really want to or need to be doing (rather than just the things people ask us to do or we feel we should do), we will be happier! Say it to help you preserve and honor your priorities.

Client Success

There are times that a client may ask you for something (“We just need this [you fill in the blank]”) that you know, or strongly believe is the wrong thing. These are the times to step back and be genuine. Help them understand your perspective, and focus them on the outcome, not the suggested solution. In these cases, you might not be saying “no”, exactly, but it is what you really mean!

If you feel a team is ready for such a discussion, pull out this list of attributes and have a team discussion on how well people feel their team is doing on each of these dimensions, the discussion can be enlightening and help the team move its performance to even higher levels.

Management: Do You Have A Controlling Personality?

If you manifest what many consider a "controlling personality" then I'm sure that there is a great deal of stress and tiredness associated with such a state.

That is because "controlling" behavior is generated by a deep anxiety that relates to you "not being in control" of others and your environment. If you think about this for just a moment, the idea that you might feel powerless and vulnerable to your situation inevitably engenders anxiety and with it a need to stem those feelings inside of yourself.

Well, what "better" way than to "control" those factors that are making you anxious, correct? Wrong!

Why wrong? Well first because it’s impossible to control everything in your environment. Just try and you'll see what I mean. No matter how much effort you put into it you'll still feel anxious and drained at the end of the day. What's more this will only feed into your feelings of powerlessness and vulnerability and make the situation worse.

Secondly, the problem is not in the uncertainty that is inherently part of your environment, it is in you!

What is that problem you ask? Well for each individual there are "emotional landmines" (please see my article on Emotional Landmines" in this ezine) that trigger inner states of unpleasant feelings such as anxiety, fear, shame, guilt, envy, jealousy, inadequacy, low self worth, low self confidence etc.

Such landmines were conditioned in you while you were growing up as a child. They are held deep in your mind and body and have a life of their own, much to your detriment.

When something happens in your life that triggers one of these landmines inside of you you will experience, at some level, one or more of these unpleasant feelings. Now because they are "unpleasant" there is a tendency, also learned from early childhood, to try to extinguish the feelings.

One of these, as I mentioned is to try to put out the "triggering" stimulus in the environment. Well that's like trying to prevent individuals from stepping on a real landmines when you don't even know where they are .

Isn't it better first to locate them and then diffuse them once and for all? Doesn't this approach leave you feeling more secure, more peaceful, with more energy, more relaxed, etc?

Well there is a new modality called the Mind Resonance Process(TM) (MRP) that can do just that with your emotional landmines.

If you'd like to learn more then kindly visit the web link below where you'll find an audio example of MRP free for you to download and experience.